I’m really looking forward to 2019… I mean really looking forward to it.
The year of 2018 was a rough one. I frequently site losing my dad as the core disruption of my progress and over all course for this year. For me, 2018 was draped in sadness, grief, trying to distract myself with work and studying, and really just trying to survive without even knowing it.
Instead of just allowing myself to be, I grasped for straws in all aspects of my life. I thought burying everything I was feeling meant I didn’t have to face them. It eventually caught up to me, leading to a couple weird mini mental breakdowns, eating whatever was put in front of me and gaining and losing the same 15lbs three times, and basically having no self control for the majority of the year. It is what it is, and I’m looking forward to a fresh start.
Looking back over the years, I’m reminded of changes I made to get my weight under control.
Year One. 2015-2016
I quit my part time freelance design business. I had a cute little home office with a new Mac and top of the line graphic programs. The money was good but on the other hand I was working over 60 hours a week, eating all the fast food, I never slept and I was beyond exhausted. I pounded red bull and coffee all day every day and stayed at my computer until my eyes crossed.
The picture below was taken on August 7, 2014, at 9:24PM. This is me at both the peak of my freelance career, and the lowest of my self esteem.
It took me 7 more months to choose between making extra money or putting my health first. In March of 2015, I contacted the clients I regularly worked for and ended my professional relationship with them all. It wasn’t easy to do, I worked so hard to acquire these clients and I knew taking the pay cut was going to hurt just as much. I also knew it was a necessary step in getting my weight under control.
Year Two. 2016-2017
Auto pilot. I did open my Instagram though, and for that I’m forever grateful.
Year Three. 2017-2018
This is where it gets dicey. I picked up a part time job at World Gym and started Monday, January 29, 2018. I lost my dad the very next day, on Tuesday, January 30th. From the moment I lost my dad up until basically now, I packed my spare time with the extra hours at the gym, trying to train for races that I registered for but never even competed in, starting a blog and studying a nutrition course.
As it turns out, I’m not Super Woman and I’ve realized it’s impossible to focus on one plate when I’m spinning 10 others.
I am tired. Too tired to put diet and exercise first, study my course or blog consistently. I decided to reduce my hours behind the desk at the gym and starting January, I’ll work 10 hours a month instead of 9 hours a week. I’m hoping to pick up more hours again after I accomplish a few things.
My 2019 goals include:
- Completing my holistic nutrition course
- Being able to help others reach their weight loss goals
- Finishing another half marathon, maybe even a full
- Losing 40lbs+
- Finally finding the health and true happiness I set out for in 2015
A good friend told me yesterday that “All of life is peaks and valleys. This year we peak!”
I’m ready to peak. Bring it Year Four.