This post was inspired by my friend Gary Cantrell. He’s in a slump and decided to share it on his podcast, and that takes guts. So here I am, sharing about my most recent slump which I’m still in, to be honest.
I had a full blown mental breakdown two weeks ago. I mean crying, feeling hopeless, like a failure and I couldn’t shake the thought of never reaching my goal.
I posted about it because I know I’m not the only person to ever feel this way.
Now that I can think clearly, I know exactly what happened and why I was so upset, so quickly.
First and foremost, this meltdown was straight on the heels of dropping out of a race I have been training for. I talked about it on Instagram, Facebook, in person, and generally whenever something would come up related. I’ve dropped it for many reasons, including but not limited to:
- Coming to the hard realization that I do not like distance running
- It’s hot af outside and I’m sick of dealing with it
- My body hates everything about running
- My heart’s not in it
Basically I woke up one morning with a scheduled long run of 7 miles and I flat out didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to do my 7 mile long run, 8 mile long run, 9 mile long run or any other distance that would need 2 hands for my post “I JUST RAN X MILE!” run picture for Instagram.
In a few words, I’m just done with it.
I think I was embarrassed, and still kind of am, but I console myself in knowing it’s an old goal that I’ve already met, and I’m ready to move on. You have to want 13 miles and for right now, I can take it or leave it. So, I’m leaving it. I’m still using shorter distances as part of my training plan though, and I’m excited for the onset of fall so I can start to actually enjoy it again.
Second, it was this shirt – the one I posted about. It was hanging in my closet, tucked away from sight and no wonder why… I bought it as a goal (to fit in) 2 years ago when I was in Williamsburg with my mom. Two years have passed and I still can’t wear it.
Out of sight out of mind, right?
Sure! That works great until you’re putting clothes away and it falls off the hanger, quickly forcing you to face reality.
For me, this was not just a shirt.
It was a tangible item that served as a reminder of failure. Failure to be consistent and failure to progress. The combination of what I felt like was failing at my race training paired with the not so gentle reminder I’m still the same size I was two years ago was the perfect storm leading to feelings of self pity, anger, and sadness.
I was so upset that my husband stopped what he was doing to come into our bedroom, where I was putting clothes away, to hug me. He then proceeded to help, probably so I wasn’t in there alone listening to Spotify and sobbing like a baby.
After I got the clothes put away, I decided from that point on I was no longer ignoring reality.
I hung my shirt back on its’ hanger and instead of putting it away I put it in plain view, right on my bedroom wall where I can see it at all times. It might seem extreme to some, but it’s what works for me.
Below is my very first goal shirt: a flyers hoodie my big brother gave me for Christmas about 5/6 years ago. It was too small when he first gave it to me, then it was tighter than all get out, then after about a year of hard work and clean eating, I was able to wear it.
Same with this gem. I bought the green shirt two winters ago to wear in Alabama but it was legit like a 2nd skin when I put it on. That trip came and went. This year, I made it a goal and by July I was able to fit into it.
SEE?! This felt SO good!
You might be wondering what the point of this entire post is, because I’m starting to wonder myself. Basically, what I’m trying to say is…
SLUMPS. ARE. INEVITABLE.
There are times when I, like many of us, get too caught up and can’t see the forest for the trees. I feel like I’m failing in one aspect of living healthier instead of looking at the whole picture. I am healthier. I am doing my best at the moment, because each moment’s “best” will be different. Before I publicly posted about my um… event… I was talking to another member of our Insta fitfam Katie and she said something that has really stuck with me.
No flower blooms all year long. Keep pressing on.
How amazing and truthful is that? This applies to me, this applies to Gary, to you, to everyone in the ultimate battle of weight loss. If you’re in a slump, just remember we go through seasons, just like flowers.