This year has been so good to me already. I’m training consistently, studying, eating on point (for the most part) and I’m right on track for my short term aspiration of becoming a health and weight loss coach. Another project I placed on the back burner last year is brewing again and I’m not sharing pictures or writing articles.
That’s right. Your girl is talking about a podcast. As if I don’t flap my gums enough on Instagram, now I’m going to flap them through the airwaves. Podcasting is so new to me and to be honest, a little scary. I’ve had a couple guest spots on The Daryl Perry Podcast and he makes things seem so easy. Daryl has encouraged me on a weekly basis to start one for myself, and I think I’m finally ready.
I wasn’t sure where to start but that changed today with a single post. On Instagram and basically everywhere, Thursdays are for throwbacks. Collectively, as a community, we usually post old pictures when we were our heaviest and compare them to where we are now, but today I dug a little deeper and shared an image from my childhood with the caption:
I found this picture and so many others when I was going through a big box from my dad. As soon as I laid eyes on it, I was sad.
A lot of my childhood memories are tied to being made fun of for my weight. Both at home and at school. The name calling never ended and because of that I felt bad about myself at a very young age.
I remember sitting in the waiting room of my pediatrician’s office and telling my mom “maybe if I suck in I’ll weigh less”. I feel like I was put on my first diet around the age pictured. I don’t remember what my mom was giving me to eat, but I remember going to the same pediatrician just to use the scale to see if I had lost.
I was probably 8 or 9 in this photo, and even then I was so self conscious I wore a t shirt to the beach. To me, being over weight is an adult issue and it really saddens me to see a visual of my self esteem at such an early time in my life.
It is ingrained in my mind that people are looking at me and my weight. It is ingrained in my mind that I will be made fun of when running or at the gym. It is ingrained in my mind that I’m bigger than everyone else and it always will be.
The positive side to all this is I wouldn’t be who I am today without growing up obese. I’m still fighting obesity today and I will every day for the rest of my life, but it’s set me up to help others who want it.
I wouldn’t change a thing.
#tbt #like1992 #childhoodobesity #childhoodobesityhastoend
I didn’t think anything about making this post. I’ve found sharing tid bits of my life to be therapeutic – there are so many of us in the same boat. I didn’t realize so many people would go on to sympathize with me and share painful stories of their childhood. I’ve read the comments on and off all morning and I’ve been inspired.
I used to feel like something was wrong with me by allowing words from so long ago to control how I felt about myself today, but as it turns out it’s not just me. It’s everyone.
I have a lot to say about this topic, and can’t wait to share them. Be on the look out, ’cause this podcast is happening.